the cost of eggs is killing me
so i survived off the land for 3 days
city vs. country in dollars
This week I ran away from the city and all its expenses to hang out for free on my dad’s off-grid farm. One minute I’m tappin’ my card for a $7 oat latte, the next I’m bartering with chickens for breakfast. What a life.
On that note, let’s talk eggs. They’re practically a luxury item in supermarkets now. During the recent shortage (which I knew nothing about because I was in Colombia overdosing on inexpensive eggs) some 12-packs were hitting $20. Yes. Vomit.
But on the farm, I’ve been standing outside the chicken coop like a nightclub bouncer, not letting anyone in or out until those little nerds lay my breakfast. Fresh, warm, and weird eating them straight out of the chicken. But I’m primal like that.
Then there’s meat. If you send one of my Dad’s cows off to the abattoir, it costs about $400. But you get a freezer full of beef in return. Around 175 kilos. In supermarket maths, that’s roughly $3,500 worth of steak. These days us not-farm-folk are lucky if we can afford a single rump without needing to use Afterpay.
And don’t get me started on energy. In suburbia, households are paying around $2,000 a year for electricity. What do you think it costs on the farm? Nothing, silly!! The sun handles it. Solar panels create free light, free hot water, free flex.
But let me be clear: I had the luxury of swanning in for a week, spooning homemade butter onto sourdough, sipping Dad’s DIY wine, and pretending I was Bear Grylls with wifi. Behind that lifestyle are my dad and Rob, who spend every day actually keeping the place alive. They’re the ones building trenches, milking cows, rendering straw-bale walls with mud, and feeding the play farm animals morning and night. I got the Instagram version; they live the sweaty, muddy reality. I admire them.
It’s funny, though, how the city and the country both sell us “luxury.” In Sydney, people happily drop $500 a night for an Airbnb with a fire pit. Out here, I built one myself for free. Sure, it smoked me out and set off the alarm, but still, it was rustic vibes and zero dollars.
The week has been about seeing how much of modern life we overpay for. Eggs, power, water, heating. All stuff that’s just sitting there, free, if you’ve got the land, the skills, and the willingness to do the work. Or if our governments just stop being such fucking idiots about it.
I don’t have the skills or willingness to work for it right now, obviously. But my dad does. And I’ll happily brag about his farm while sipping the 86-cent beers he brews himself.
If you want to see everything I just said brought to life with my big mug showing you. I filmed the whole week. Gooooo
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Over and out chicos.
PLEASE EXCUSE TYPOS.
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